Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
