Need sex. Gaining weight.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
