Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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