i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
