Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
