maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
