Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
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Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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