Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
false alarm, still single
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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