You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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