Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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