i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize