You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
