So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
