Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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