Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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