It's Friday. Sex?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize