She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
