Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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