I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
