dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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