is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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