We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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