What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
