we have officially mastered the walk of shame
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
