just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
