Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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