I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
