Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
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I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
and you fell through a lawn chair
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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