How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
