Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
