btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
