God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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