We won't sleep together?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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