I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dignity is for republicans.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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