We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
