She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
