yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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