Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets