toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Jerry, you need to find god
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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