So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize