so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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