I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sorry about my life...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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