I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
