i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
