ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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