using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
