i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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