So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
