we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
