I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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