I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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