Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk