Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dating After Heartbreak
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?