She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
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we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
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Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
well, you know. whores of a feather.