she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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