every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
