the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just want to make out with him forever
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize