So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
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they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
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Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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