CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
