It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize